Empty Rising

I have been torturing myself to get my weight down. It’s been working nicely. Slow, but nice and steady. For that I’m happy.

But not for the bad mood I have everytime I wake up in the small hours, realizing that my stomach has been revolting all night, and it gets worse everytime I woke up. And I have less energy to wake up immediately to fetch something small in the fridge. Not the mention the anxiety everytime I wake up and the first thing that comes across my mind are the girls that I have been having crush on but seems have been gone far from reach. Man, how they are special !!

But enough of ladies, there are plenty of them around (but still, the special ones are rare and far apart…), return to my weight problem.

Yes, I have felt this tantalous amount of anxiety, boredom, lack of spirit, etc, etc. Every bad mood associated with lack of motivation.

I have realized long ago that food is the source of my good mood, the starter of my motivation. But since I came to a realization that I look totally awful when overweight, I have developed this sense of eating less and less, especially rice. I have been psychologically full whenever I have eaten any small amount of rice. Sometimes, I skip rice altogether and drink a lot of water after eating some fruits.

I wonder If I can keep it going for four more kilograms (that’s roughly 8 pounds for you Imperials)…

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