Rest

In Indonesia, when we call a day which lies between two holidays (or a holiday and a weekend) as Hari Kejepit Nasional (Harpitnas) or literally means “National Squeezed Day”. Many loaths, humorously, that why don’t the government declare the harpitnas as a holiday too, as people have low mood when they have come to work (or school) anyway during this kind of days.

But for some, harpitnas also means a chance to take a long vacation, by taking leave. They can have extended holidays, have more time away from work. I am among that some people. I had my last of 2 off-days still unused to me, awarded because of 2 weeks field trip I have taken back in the last half of March. So I use it yesterday, a harpitnas placed between a sunday and a tuesday holiday. I planned to use the 3 days vacation as a chance to contemplate, to review myself of what have I become in the last 5 months of working time.

The result of my contemplation so far? I am a childish young man.

Well, not like if I have been contemplating for full 3 days, but I have been contemplating nonetheless.

That means playing “Command & Conquer : Generals”, thinking about how should I call The Girl, thinking about whether should I forget The Girl or not, which digital camera should I buy, should I join my friend’s net-cafe business or investing the money in Prudential’s Prulink investment plan, going together with my friends to watch The Interpreter (cool movie, Nicole Kidman is such an enchanting woman here), reading “The Voyage of Jerle Shannara : Ilse Witch”, and doing the real contemplating itself.

The real contemplating revealed that I miss my solitary geek life so much. I enjoyed my life as a geek once more during these last 3 days. Playing video games, browsing the net, cutting myself from the real world, imagining things and such, messing with my PC, watching stock market news on TV, and so on.

And it revealed that I have not been fully adapted to the work environment. I took my work environment as another playground, not as a serious place to be. I misuse my PC, using it as my blog template messing workplace, as my HTML trial lab, as my Yahoo! Messenger connection line, and as mean to do Blogexplosion things. When the official working hours have ended, around 5 p.m, I use it as a LANparty PC, got beaten badly playing WarCraft III. And if the firewall is not there, I might use eMule and Shareazaa to leech those badass animes out there as well.

My time on using my PC as a device to do my the job I paid to do is just 30% of the total time I am in front of my PC. See how I am still a child?

I can blame that my superior doesn’t give strict limitations on how to use my PCs and the fact that he had not given plenty tasks for me to do. blaming others is the easiest thing to do when you are failing. But to gradually evolve to true manhood, I am aware that I need to slowly forget the habit of blaming others and relying on others to limit my playful instincts.

I just hope that my realization today will not fade away tomorrow, replaced by automatic habit of turning on my PC, clicking on Outlook, Firefox, and Opera icons, and do the time wastings I do everyday.

Automatization of time wastings have been a second nature for me, the contemplation have also revealed. Finding cures to it, I have been enlightened about, is the fast lane I need to reach that adult mindset.

Mulitasking time wastings have also done damages to my concentration. They give me impulses to jump from activities to activities. They totally have made me unable to focus sharply. Unable to focus is one way to lose efficiency in workplace, no?

I am hoping I have enough time left today to work on the cures for my liabilities…

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