I just need to post an entry into my blog this morning. Well, I’m basically out of inspirations to write about anything but this story of lack of inspirations. Really, I’m out of everything that is needed to write one quality blog entry.
Last afternoon, while I was stuck inside a bus which was stuck inside a traffic jam caused by a narrowing of a road caused by some construction planning, I was thinking about what philosophical idea should I write then post into my blog? I was thinking about the continuation of my “how to be a good political party” entry or my “Cooperation” article. Those two are the golden eggs of the time when my philosophical mind was still at its purest and my spirit of free-speach is still at large.
Now? Now my mind is filled with Acidizing Job, picking girls to catch, investments, watching movies, and taking pictures. It is just like what I have written before : Office is somehow killing inspirational parts of my being.
I have even forgotten my “Preachers” writing : “Preachers:Influences”. Forgot that I should continue it with “Preachers : Powers” article.
I was a philosopher back then (my take, how about you?). Now, I have this feeling of being a lost soul, unable to decide what to do next. I even lost inspirations on what to do at the office. Everytime I step into my cubicle and got seated, it seems parts of me are shut down and turned on again everytime office hours end. I know it’s not a good office attitude, but somehow I got terribly saturated with this “ACIDIZING” things I have been doing for almost to 6 MONTHS (!!) without proper guidances and even without proper availability of documents (I was more excited when The Girl is still tending the engineering documents. Now that she is doing other documents in other floor…)
I have been thinking about whether there are some “chemical imbalances” inside my head.
Or perhaps it’s just my lack of eagerness to eat dinner lately : I skip on them more frequently lately than before. I have realized that I was such an overweight lazy brat, and have been thinking that doing some push ups and sit ups might change it. First trial suggested that my hands are unable to withstand my weight, so I have been limiting my food intakes. Doing that while increasing physical regimentations proven to be not such a good idea. My brain has been attacked by “ghosts” that “whisper” of some lethal depressive thoughts. I have to stop limiting my nourishments in the mean time, enough to kick away those “ghosts that whisper” and buy me time to evaluate the results of the physical exercise. I will not stop my physical exercise, even if I can only do 10 push ups in a day, I will do it.
I am sorry. I have written that I will write less about myself and give you more about my philosphical insights, right? Well, please pray for me that I will conform to what I have written.
Please pray that I will not be another lamb integrated and therefore lost inside the turnmoil that is office life.
tags: random thoughts, philosophy, ramblings