Corrupted Me

There are times in my live, I feel that I’m at life’s end. When they hit, it feels like I’m totally exhausted, body and soul, and I’ll simply lost the interest to do things that I usually do.

Those are the times when I have the Mental Block.

Those are the times when I have the thoughts of stop playing in life and get serious. It’s usually I come in terms with my own conscius and come face-to-face with the truth about my life.

Those are the times when I feel that I have been wrapping myself in such an extensive and ugly masquerade used to face the world.

Those are the times when I feel that I’ve been encloaked in lies. It’s usually the time when I feel that without the mask I’ll be exposing the dark soul of myself.

Those are the times when I usually think that without that mask I’ll be clueless when living my life.

Those are the times when I start asking questions about the things that I have done: why did I do them? why did I stop doing them? why in the end it feels like this? Can I stop doing them? Can I? Can I?

I know that some things, like wasting my office time with reading e-mails, doing blog traffic exchange, chatting, doing marketiva, and daydreaming, aren’t worth keeping and needs to be trashed immediately. But somehow, when I get to office the next day, the bad habits reappear without being able to be stopped.

It feels like when I come face to face with my monitor, I lost control of myself and let my soul be taken over by ugly habits. My instinct has become so corrupted with petty distractions. I can no longer able to focus on my office duties.

I know that I have been doing those distractions because of two of my biggest problems: my scary impulse that forces me to gain RECOGNITION from the world, and my unstoppable GAMING mindset.

I know that I have to start learning how to focus and stopped doing the petty distractions right away or I’ll gain nothing from my experiences at the office.

I need to focus.

I need to focus.

I need to focus.

NEED TO FOCUS AND SHOW MY TRUE SELF TO THE WORLD

CAN ANYBODY TELL ME HOW?

tags: My

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