Day 13, 2006

It went drearier each day. The more I try to seek escape from the three haunted habits: procrastinating, erotic fantasizing, and switching focuses, it seems like those things were talking to me, saying that without them I am nothing.

Of course, I realize that without them I am not what I am now, perhaps better, perhaps one that no one will recognize.

Perhaps I am already comfortable with what I am, fearing that if I change for the better, everyone will take notice and laugh at me, thingking of me as a hypocrite.

Fear, and I am a coward man for a start.

For now, I think I’ll change little things day by day, starting with doing little push-ups daily.

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