Something has been bothering me. It is the escalating tendency inside of me to have comfort in submitting to rather mischievous state of mind whenever I went uncertain or unfocus. It gives me a certain boost of confidence and clarity, and help me put off things that disturb my mind. Whenever I am tired and waning, I just have to submit to it, let it crawls on my spinal nerves, climb up to my brain, and I have a boost to my willpower and inspirations.
If in those conditons I make decision to submit to wise thingking, all I will end up with are more confusions and doubts, resulting in more wasted energy. But If I am fresh and waxing, wise thingking is much more convenient to embrace on.
Is that bipolar mental state? Perhaps. Whatever that is, I know how to choose mental states now, based on my conditions.