Saturated by Life, Imprisoned by Immaturity, and Beaten Down by Losts

So, I break my routine “Day XX, 200x” title to bring you this special news about the latest conditions of my pathetic, lost, and scattered everywhere life.

And this entry will make up for the last 2 pathetic, short, and untagged posts. Sins must be redeemed, right? Here is my redemption.

So, here I am, God Knows how many times I have lamented about my own sad, pathetic conditions.

First, there’s the flu. One week full of stubborn, inescapable flu. With my nose running and my head swimming, it’s hard to keep focused on anything, and my job performance has been an all time low. So low, I think my boss will surely fire me if he has a little more sense of decency. I have sworn I will stop opening Internet during office hours, but my instincts keep on telling me to do it, and I am a poor defender against my own dominating instincts.

Hmmm..perhaps my boss has not fired me because he will be transferred to head a new division soon.


Yesterday was Saturday, and I slept a lot, since the flu was still there, and I slept at 11 on friday night. I have been trying to make myself sleep at 8 p.m everynight, so I can wake up at 3.00 a.m in the morning so by the time the clock strike 5, I will be fully awaken and fully ignited; mind, body and soul. But I have kept on sleeping at 10 or more, and it has been helping the flu to flourish (so it’s my own fault, I help the enemy flourished)

During the week, I have been late twice. I put the blame on the bizzare public transportation system here in Indonesia, and everyone understood. There is no rule on how a driver run his bus here in Indonesia, hell, he can even tell the passangers to move to other bus so He can turn back earlier to catch “passangers golden time” (which is 4-6 p.m, the hours of majority of low and middle class, public transportations dependant souls in Jakarta go home). And in the morning, if you’re off by 10 or 15 minutes, you’ll end up with just one or two of nearly a dozen buses who suppose to turn up in your route. They turn back earlier.

Well, there’s lightning storm brewing outside. This post will be continued. I have to turn this PC off.

one hour later…

And now that the lightning storm has turned into another event in unrecorded history of “shared reality world”, I have another moment to continue my blogging.

Hmmmmm, oh yeah, the buses. Well, try to imagine a 50 seated bus with speed of 50 mile per hours driven like a porsche through a stuffed two laned roads. That’s what buses in Jakarta are all about: a challenge to insurance company, if they ever got insured.

Me? Well, I am an adapted passanger, that means I can still sleep in the bus all the way to office to pay off that long night. I may even try to sleep standing, if the bus if so jam packed full. Still, 5 days a week commuting on 4 of those suicidal buses, someone’s soul will have fatigue.

And add that to an office that is on a 31st level (actually 28, because due to superstitious mentality, there is no floor number 4, 14, and 24..geh, damn chinese!!), with the stupidest elevators in Jakarta to take you up there (10 minutes to wait for an elevator to show up, and when it shows up, you’ll have 2 or 3 others showing up…talking about efficiency), and air conditioner that is ready to freeze your bone, you’ll be fatigued more.

Add that to the fact that your cubicle is right in front of a public door…you’ll be stressed more.

Yup, that’s my life.

The only thing that makes me stay is because the money is good. I live in Jakarta, and the money is good for a national capital living. The money is good.

But I want more. And that greed really burn my pocket deep.

First, there’s this whole autosurfings and HYIP fiasco, where scammers are running away with my money I intend to invest into their “promising programs”. Man, growing your money up to 25% a day is a promise every greedy, immature, and naive person will buy any day.

I was (and perhaps still am) that greedy, immature, and naive person.

Second, there’s this Marketiva forex trading platform. I was doing EXCELLENT for one week, before internet blackout occurs for 3 days in the next week, and my money “WENT DOWN THE ABYSS” due to uncontrollabe losses.

That was a week before the invincible flu stroke in. Since then, I have burnt 90% of my capital in Marketiva due to uncontrollabe emotions.

More loses.

I think that’s enough for now. I am calmer. I’ll storm again here when I am fatigued.

And prepare for Kurau Field Trip VI next week, not updated daily as I will be rooting in a jungle looking after a gas well.


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