Trap of Life or Simple Fate?

It is simply a question that perhaps majority of intelligent beings asked in this world: Why am I living the way I am? This questions have been hammering my mind and shaking the foundations of my mental building. I am now living far from my dream jobs, and have been having my most coveted dreams shattered before me, jobs, ambitions, girls, physics. I have been questioning this questions ever since I graduated as bachelor in engineering and found that my first job for me is a mix of blessing and torment with torments getting dominations lately.
 
Torments from the fact that each day, I found out that essences of my life, my dreams, have been taken from me inch for inch by each coming day. If I let this continue by accepting the fact that this kind of life is my destiny, I realize that I will become a hollow biological machine that walks the earth without dreams on its nerve central and without compassions flowing from its nutritional tranports central terminal. In short: I will become slave of the machines of the civilizations.
 
And I realize that I am just too damn proud and naif to become another slave of the machines. My greatest dream is to become the machine itself with my ideas and realization of my dreams. Simply accepting my current state is not what I am suppose to be.
 
A man’s life is determined by his own  to always try to walk the path where his heart is, with all of his heart.
 
Trap of Life or Simple Fate? My answer is both. You are trapped in this life by a simple flick of a fate, but that doesn’t mean you can not fill this trap with what you desire.
 
I have decided to keep whats left of my dreams alive and continue to life my double lives: a lazy engineer and a dreamy philosophical artist 

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